Inconsistent Consistency

Boy, howdy, I've been anything but consistent lately, haven't I?

This week has been a world wind of crazy. I felt that no matter how hard I tried to get ahead, I was always two steps behind the play Part of that was the fact that I was plum lazy and the other part of that was because my body was so confused from switching my work schedule from morning to night and all over the place that I just found my self exhausted when I wasn't sleeping.

However, that is in the past. It is time to move forward and start a new week. The wonderful things about weeks is that every seven days you have a chance for a better week. And every 24 hours you have a chance of making sure that your week goes right.

I am quickly realizing that 24 hours is not near enough time for me to do what I need exactly. In fact, it's at least six hours short of what I need. (Yes, I do mean to use those six extra hours for sleeping). I'm sure there was a point in my past where I realized this also - but it just seems to be a constant theme throughout the first semester of year two.

Wow, there were a whole lot of numbers in that last paragraph.

If you are thinking, wow, this blog post seems kind of rushed this week, you would be right. It is. I'm trying to stay on top of my game and knock out everything I write on my daily to-do lists. (Oh yeah, I got organizing down to an art - I'm just not always great with the actual doing of the things.) Monday's list is quite long because, well, I did not properly manage my time this weekend...or last week.

Oh, well. This week clearly will be better than the last. I mean, heck, it ends with Halloween!

Until next time,

Kaity

Out of the Fog

I'm back!

How much did you miss these posts? Bet you enjoyed them more than the amount of times I've been spamming the interwebs requesting people take my research survey. Speaking of - thank all of you for taking the time to complete it! I got double the amount of people I was hoping for! (Y'all can still take it, if you like. It's open through tomorrow night.)

There. That's it, the last you'll hear of me asking about the survey, I promise.

I've been a bit off my game the last two weeks. I don't fully know how to describe it - but it was kind of like walking through a thick fog. It took me a little while to refind my purpose (which was buried under some rocks in the corner of my mind) and really realize why I'm doing the things I'm doing.

This semester so far has just been really...odd. Being a part time student, one would think that I would all of a sudden have time on my hands, be able to become more involved in things. Turns out that's not how grad school works at all. Apparently, less classes means we should be able to handle more work - because clearly we don't all have jobs to pay for school or anything. Anywho - I complain but really I just need to find a balance.

In happier news, I finally went apple picking! I had a ton of fun with the Bayridge crew as we explored an uphill orchard (you read that right) and picked lots different types. I can't tell you what I actually got because to me, all of them are red. This video should be up soon - so keep an eye out!

Wow, this post is a whole lot of gobbledygook. Forgive me, I'm out of practice.

Until next time,

Kaity

(Getting Back To It)

 (6:45 and captioned) 

(Apple Picking)

(6:00)

Real Talk

Alright, real talk.

I don’t have a video for last week. I mean, I filmed stuff...but I haven’t edited it.  I haven’t done a lot of things that I wanted to do. It took me up to last night to finish a lot of stuff that should’ve easily been done last week.

It’s no big surprise that I have seem to have lost my mojo. I’m sure that it’s easy to tell from the short videos and the very...odd...blog posts that seem to ramble into the abyss.

Honestly, I’m struggling. I’m trying to find a point - something that makes waking up and going to work and continuing school worth it, because right now, knowing that an expensive piece of paper is heading my way isn’t working.

I need to feel like I’m doing something that not only betters myself but gives back to the community. I’ve been trying really hard to get more involved with things and work on aspects of my life that need to be improved...yet it seems all so trivial.

On the other side of this, if I don’t force myself to do these things and sort of trick myself into being busy, I would never leave my bed. I would curl up under the blankets all day and either sleep, watch netflix, read, eat - or a combination of those things.

In all honestly, I think I’m struggling with patience. I’m struggling with the idea of having to constantly do mundane tasks to improve skills and get to where I want to go. I want to have a book written by the time I’m 25. I want to be able to send people home made sketches of characters I have created. I want to work on my filming and get really good at it and create short films in the future. I want to teach kids and find ways to help improve educational programs that have us go back to focusing on students instead of tests.

I want to do a lot of things - but sometimes knowing that I'm not even close to the finish line, knowing that I’m only a few feet from the start, is more motivation to give up than to continue.

I am tired of all the half-finished projects that lay in the wake of my 23 years on earth.

So, it’s Wednesday. It’s halfway through a week that started off fairly bumpy - but I’m working on trying to turn that around. It’s got to start with an attitude adjustment, I think. There’s too much awesome in Wonderland for me to give up now.

Prayers, good vibes, and positivity would all be appreciated.

Until next time,

Kaity

A Personal Realization of Research

I would argue that this last week I functioned at about 75% (clearly - look how late this is posted) and was extremely uneventful - except for Pixar night. Which takes up the majority of the video...if you're wondering.

Actually, this week was great for coming to some conclusions about things.Specifically research.

For the first time, really ever, I'm creating my own research. Not a proposal that could happen in the future or finding a million and a half articles online and totally taking one or two quotes from an article to prove my point about something, a real live thesis-type thing. (Except it's not a thesis, it's considered a major paper so that we don't have to do a thesis and we're basically expanding off of someone else's research, so it's not just ours. In all honesty, it's a bit baffling. ) A mini-thesis, if you will.

I truly am excited to dive into the actual data collecting part of it all. The results might actually help in arguments when it comes to things involving state tests. As I am doing all the research, or really digging as deep as I can for any research on this topic,

 

I came to the realization that this isn't a simple semester project. What I'm looking into is scratching the surface of an iceberg of problems, and many times it feels like I'm starting an impossible task that I will never see the end of. (I'm sure I'm not alone in my responce.)

Having that overwhelming feeling for me is really intimidating and discouraging. I realize that this sounds a lot like procrastination, but it's a true reaction. It seems like by the end of the semester I'll be submitting something that says, "I have answered one question and created about twenty more."

But I guess that's research for you. Maybe research life isn't for me.

I came to another conclusion this week, but I didn't write it down and, therefore, have no clue what it was. Clearly nothing dire.

Until next week,

Kaity

(Captioned    Length:  6:10)

The Monobuttockular Week.

After last week you would think that I would have this amazing post that talks about everything I have accomplished and how I'm a solid seven spaces from Go. The honest truth is I'm only about three and a half.

That's right - I gave a huge speech about choices and moving forward and knocking out goals and totally did not follow through. I know that I disappointed myself and probably the few of y'all out there rooting for me to actually be productive with my time.

Ah, well...there's always next week.

Do I have an excuse? Nope.

To be fair, I did take some good steps forward. I'm getting better on my eating habits, I actually worked out three times this week. (Knee does limit the amount of cardio activity), I knocked out a good majority of my goals.....but, I also know that I can always do better.

Yup. That's about it for this week.

Until next time,

Kaity

Lovely screen shot, ain't it?

( Captioned ; 6:24 )

It Comes Down to a Choice

So, as all of my readers saw, last week was a very rough one and it very much bled into this week as well. But, as the end drew near, I felt like I could breathe again. Having that one day off to not worry, to go and explore the Lawn on the D, and enjoy time with many people at the House did more for me than I can explain.

Sunday is always a weird day. Many see it as the end of one week and simultaneously the start of a new one. New things are always good, because they give us another chance.

Last week, I gave myself excuse after excuse of why things were not completed, why I didn't feel motivated to knock out my lists....I did myself more harm than good. It's very easy to slip into the mindset that it'll just get done tomorrow. That whole procrastination thing again...

This week will be different - I will get myself back on track in mind, body, spirit, and school. I fully believe that is the reason God gives us so many "new" things. New days, weeks, months, years... He understands that we need that reset sometimes. I definitely needed it this week.

Really it just comes down to one question - how much do I want to be successful? Answer: A lot. Then, it becomes a choice. Am I going to stay in and watch Netflix all day or get dressed and go to the gym? Do I really need to buy things for Mac and Cheese at Star or will I go home and eat the veggie meals that I have in the freezer? Do I really need to be on the internet again or is there something else that I could be doing?

Even though these decisions don't always seem like they're a big deal, they will end up impacting life later on. I have to remember that - that getting to my goal of (there's a lot, so use your imagination) I have to start today. I have to eat right today, I have to accomplish the to-do list today, I have to walk the whole way to the gym today, ...

It goes on and on. Will it be easy? Not in a million years. We all know that I have made an art out of procrastination. So, starting today, I am going to try and break that habit. Yes I know there will be road blocks and pot holes, but the important thing is about coming out on the other side of it all.

Until next time, readers,

Kaity

(Captioned, 5:39)

The Importance of Mental Health

Currently, I'm channeling Squidward Tenticles.

Let me start with a bit of Kaity philosophy. I fully believe, no matter who you are, you have to take a mental health day at least once a week. Sometimes you might be lucky, and you naturally have one with how your job is scheduled. Sometimes, you don't. Now, some people can go a lot longer than others without feeling the need to take a day for themselves every week. (I'm 98% sure that these people would claim to be extroverts.) The other group of us may need more than one day. It's all who you are.

The thing is, it is up to you to make sure that you give yourself what you need, especially if work can become an every day occurrence.  To do your job well, you must mentally be at 100%. (Please note that there are things you can do every day to make sure you're there as well. Like sleeping and eating.)

But sometimes you need more. You need a full day away from whatever the stressful thing is. You have to be a responsible adult and learn to say 'no' every once and a while. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out.

(And here the reader realizes that this is exactly what Kaity has done to herself last week and this week.)

Yeah - I saw the big picture. The glorious fat paycheck heading my way with all these extra shifts. The problem is, by taking away my mental days (because I thought that I could handle it) I'm not functioning at 110 % every time I go into work. Oh I do everything asked of me, but I'm sure I could be doing better. I think I'm currently at an 85% level or so.

Really, this post is just an explanation of all the subway shots in the video this week. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Saturday, I'll have a chance to recoup. I'll get back on top of things and be able to give next week my all.


Until next time,

Kaity

P.S. I don't even have an excuse as to why these things don't appear on Sunday's like I originally planned. These are popping up late because of who I am as I person. I have just embraced it.

(Captioned : 5:49)