A Letter to My High School Self

Dear High School Kaity,

I know that life is pretty tough. You got a lot going on and there's a lot of dark days. Just know that even when the skies above are overcast, the sun is still shining somewhere.

I've compiled a list of ten things that I think you might want to know. Now, I fully believe we wouldn't be me today without the bumps and missed turns taken in the past, but there are a few things that you should probably know to make the journey easier.

1. Love yourself. Every inch. Inside and Out.

2. Life gets better. Those people don't matter and, in all honesty, won't remember how they made you feel. Remove them from Facebook and get on with your life. 

3. You are allowed to say no. If people don't accept this response when you say it, let 'em go. You should only have to say it once. 

4. Take life's opportunities as they come. They are there to help mold you into a better person.

5. Learn how to save money. If you knew where I was - you would be kicking yourself. Put back anywhere from $25 - 50 per month. Or more, yo. Trust me - it'll be worth it.

6. People will break your heart; it is one of the most brutal parts of life. Do not waste time trying to win them back because they aren't worth it. They have made a decision and, however painful it is, you must let them go. Have a day to grieve. Eat as much chocolate as you want, watch sappy movies, scream, cuss, go for a walk. Then, the next day, pull yourself together, call a friend, and get out of the house. It's painful but extremely necessary.

7. Don't compare your life to others. As a great future friend of yours said to me, we all walk different paths of life and there's no problem with that. What you are doing is necessary for your own happiness. Who cares if it is not the same as someone else?

8. There is a difference between being content and being happy. Don't allow yourself to settle.

9. You are loved. 

10. Don't quit because you're not great at something instantly. Every quote you ever see about accomplishing things talks about time. When your motivation dies, that's the time to really push yourself. Practice whatever you're doing once a day until you get to where you want.

Remember, rough patches are nothing more than sandpaper that helps smooth us into better human beings. You can do this. You will make it through.

See you soon,

Kaity

2014: A Review

It's that time of the year again!

The time of the year where you go dig out the list of things you were going to do during 2014 and find yourself horribly disappointed that you were able to cross a total of five things off your list. Maybe that's just me.

I feel that, like most people, I start the year as many others do. Setting up goals of how to better myself and taking baby steps to accomplishing those far off dreams. And, like many others, those goals seem to be forgotten about a month later. So, out of curiosity, let's see how I did.

 Read the Bible straight through
- go to church every Sunday
-exercise three times a week
-vlog once a week (I completed a summer challenge)
-get up to running a 10K
 read 25 books (read 30 :D)
-run three 5K races (I ran one)
 learn something new
-plan a book
complete 365 Photo Challenge
-write once a week
-draw once a week
-learn to write with my left hand
 take a trip
-learn creative ways to cuss
-Let it go!

The problem with this list is that I see a lot of what I didn't do, compared to what I did do. For example, I graduated college. I got into my dream graduate school and have been blessed with the fact that I now take classes there. I started and kindof consistently manage a blog (which is something I've always wanted to do). I LIVE IN BOSTON! I womaned up and got a tattoo. For me, these are big accomplishments that weren't on the wish list. So I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. Some of those goals were massive because, well, I'm a bit of a dreamer.

So I'm trying to keep it a little more realistic this year. Putting down a few goals that can be completed if I set my mind to it. And, instead of keeping the list in one of the pages of my personal journal, I'm going to put it somewhere I can see them every day.

I'll admit, it's a bit weird to post resolutions on a blog - typically they are kept private. But something that I have learned recently is that I'm terrible at motivating myself to complete things. So this time, I'm sharing in hopes that the pressure will force me to knock things off my list.

2015 Resolutions

-Weekly blog posts
-Clear up my acne (because, let's be honest, it's embarrassing at 22)
-learn another language
-complete the 2015 Book Challenge
-eat healthier
-exercise at least three times a week, no matter the weather
-fill a drawing page a month
-save at least $1200
-take a trip somewhere new
-work on and post new videos on SigningTwins (SAMANTHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
-write something once a month
-As in all classes

These tasks won't be easy and a lot of things are vague. Many things will be broken down into more manageable monthly chunks. Not only will that help me complete things, but it will force me to constantly reevaluate how much progress I have made throughout the year. It would be awesome to be able to mark everything off this list.

I know that resolutions are not everyone's thing. Some people see them as silly. And I completely get that sometimes life has a very different plan than we were hoping for that year. Yet, at the same time, I have to strive for something. I've never been very good at twiddling my thumbs during down time. So, Reader, I challenge you to make one resolution to complete this year. Maybe we can swap victory stories come December.

Happy New Years Y'all,

Kaity

I Don't Believe in Good-Byes

Today is a challenging day for me.

It is the last I will be working in the Union.

I started the Block Party of my Freshman year, before the school year even began. I was terrified and knew no one; and was promptly thrown into a gigantic grey shirt with the logo printed on it following my boss around and basically doing whatever was asked of me. I did not talk, I barely made eye contact, and I was overwhelmed with the information poured into my brain.

During that first week we had training and it was very apparent that I was the only new member to the team. Throughout the next semester, three more freshman would come on board - three wonderful women that helped me have a successful life here at TWU. We bonded relatively quickly, mainly through horror stories of our mistakes at work and horror movies (still very unclear of how the latter happened), and remained very close as our peers slowly graduated and left.

We became the veterans - those old enough to pass on the knowledge of our mistakes to the newbies every semester but also comfortable enough to joke with our bosses. Truly and honestly, we were the product of two wonderful offices that taught us all about scheduling, setups, bus schedules, and life.

I wouldn't be who I am without the people that have came and left this office. I surely wouldn't be able to take the next step in my journey without the encouragement and lessons from my superiors.

This is my family. This is my home.

I don't believe in good-byes - they are too final. Good-byes declare endings, and my time with these people isn't over.

This is just a see ya later. A very long, extended see ya later.

I love all of y'all - from the depths of my heart. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes; thank you for teaching me how to love; thank you for helping me become a better human being.

See y'all soon,

Kaity

Apologies for My Behavior

I always seem to think better after a good run and a massive clean. Luckily, I was able to do both this weekend, but in reverse order.

Last Thursday was the first of two moves I will be making this month. I spent a good majority of the weeks before preparing by going through each and every little thing and deciding if it was worth keeping, donating, or trashing completely. Then, the few things that I had decided to keep went into boxes that went into cars that eventually brought me home.

Afterwords, for the first time in three weeks, I went for a run. It. Was. Marvelous. (and painful)

The pounding in my feet matched the beat of my heart and cleared the fog away from my brain - allowing it to analyze the things that I had packed away and my past moves over the last four years. It was about this time that I realized that I had become quite the unbearable cretin not only through the stressful change that is happening now, but through all the major changes of my life.

Moving to TWU.

Breakups.

Moving home from TLC.

Starting graduate school.

Moving out of my first apartment.

Moving to Boston.

I have treated people poorly and unfairly because I was not able to properly deal with the substantial amount of feels that were rampaging through my body. I snapped in anger; I held onto things and people too tightly; I severed friendships that I deeply miss.

I am not asking for sympathy, because I don't deserve it. I need to better control myself when I'm stuck in a neutral zone, the place between endings and beginnings. No one deserves how I treated them.

Dearest friends and family, if I have offended you in any way, I apologize from the depths of my soul. I ask your forgiveness in my attitude and my lack of control. Being human is not a good excuse for the mess I have created, but it is the only one I have.

I will work on becoming stronger and being a better all around human being. I ask for your help and prayers.

Thank you and all my love,

Kaity

Painting The Temple

I know that there are a lot of debates about people who get a tattoo - especially if that person happens to be Christian. Many people see it as destroying God's temple. I see it as a way of painting it.

I have always been fascinated with the ideas of tattoos - being that the commitment to the image being inked into your body is longer than most relationships that you will ever experience. I love hearing the reason behind each artwork, because most people don't take being inked lightly. There is pride behind the portrait, a reason that a person is so willing to show part of themselves right on their sleeve (literately). And then there are those people who just like wearing art.

I am definitely part of the first group. What I did for my 22nd birthday was not spur of the moment, boredom, or to brag that "I've done it". It was to show that I have been through hell and back and been okay. It is to show that even though I am terrified of the future, I know that God will take care of me and has my back. I am showing that I am open to His plan and that I, despite what it may be, will rise to the challenge asked of me.

The tattoo itself is very simple, but it means a lot to me and I'm proud of it. There are two parts to it, but they complement each other. The first part is an open triangle. The triangle represents the Greek work "delta". If you have ever taken any higher math courses, you know that this word and symbol means "change". What I have recently learn is that if you take out a part of that triangle, the meaning becomes "open to change".

The second part of this tattoo is a Bible reference, Jeremiah 29:11. " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse has been following me around my entire life and has become extremely prominent during these last two years. Change isn't a new concept for me, but I feel that as of late, it has been what the majority of my life has been.

I fully believe that these two years have been a preparation for what is to come this fall. I needed to become more dependent on Him and less on those around me because this next stretch of my life isn't going to be an easy task. Logically, I know what has to be done, but mentally - I'm still gearing up for it.

That's the story behind my ink. It was a way to mentally prepare myself for what's to come. There will be pain involved, and at times it's going to hurt (especially when it lands right on the bone), but if I keep a level head and just breathe, I will make it through.

Until next time, dear readers,

Kaity

The Required Introduction

Hello Readers,

I hope that you have stumbled across this small blog on a favorable day.

My name is Kaity and I am a 21 year old born and raised Texan moving 1,817 miles to Boston University to work on a Masters of Education in Deaf Education degree. In essence, I am moving across the nation to basically start fresh.

Texas will always be my home, but sometimes even this colossal state can feel suffocating. Nearing the end of my Bachelor's degree, I began to realize that I no longer clicked well with where I lived for the past four years. I took my time, did research, college visits, and interviews until I found my dream school. And then I decided that I would not let this dream slip through my fingers.

It won't be an easy change for me. I have never really done large transitions very well. Not only am I moving to an area where there is no one familiar, I am experiencing what it is like to be financially independent of my family. Loans, scholarships, coupons - learning how to use each of these things (and many others) to their fullest potential is quite a learning curve.

Thankfully, I have had this summer to start the transition. It has given me time to complete the items listed on my 'Moving To-Do's. I have a wonderful support system within my family, friends, and coworkers who have been nothing but encouraging. This next leap would not be possible without them.

Many people have asked me to keep them informed about my new City Girl life in Boston - I figured that a blog would be the easiest thing to do. Why am I starting this blog now? Because, dear friends, the adventure has already begun.

As many people know, I am an avid reader and movie watcher and therefore, I will be writing reviews on these things as well. I always love recommendations, so let me know if you want me to do any one book or movie specifically. I don't think I've turned down a recommendation yet.

So there you are. A little about me and the future of this here blog. Until next time, dear Readers.

Yours,

Kaity