A Personal Realization of Research

I would argue that this last week I functioned at about 75% (clearly - look how late this is posted) and was extremely uneventful - except for Pixar night. Which takes up the majority of the video...if you're wondering.

Actually, this week was great for coming to some conclusions about things.Specifically research.

For the first time, really ever, I'm creating my own research. Not a proposal that could happen in the future or finding a million and a half articles online and totally taking one or two quotes from an article to prove my point about something, a real live thesis-type thing. (Except it's not a thesis, it's considered a major paper so that we don't have to do a thesis and we're basically expanding off of someone else's research, so it's not just ours. In all honesty, it's a bit baffling. ) A mini-thesis, if you will.

I truly am excited to dive into the actual data collecting part of it all. The results might actually help in arguments when it comes to things involving state tests. As I am doing all the research, or really digging as deep as I can for any research on this topic,

 

I came to the realization that this isn't a simple semester project. What I'm looking into is scratching the surface of an iceberg of problems, and many times it feels like I'm starting an impossible task that I will never see the end of. (I'm sure I'm not alone in my responce.)

Having that overwhelming feeling for me is really intimidating and discouraging. I realize that this sounds a lot like procrastination, but it's a true reaction. It seems like by the end of the semester I'll be submitting something that says, "I have answered one question and created about twenty more."

But I guess that's research for you. Maybe research life isn't for me.

I came to another conclusion this week, but I didn't write it down and, therefore, have no clue what it was. Clearly nothing dire.

Until next week,

Kaity

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The Monobuttockular Week.

After last week you would think that I would have this amazing post that talks about everything I have accomplished and how I'm a solid seven spaces from Go. The honest truth is I'm only about three and a half.

That's right - I gave a huge speech about choices and moving forward and knocking out goals and totally did not follow through. I know that I disappointed myself and probably the few of y'all out there rooting for me to actually be productive with my time.

Ah, well...there's always next week.

Do I have an excuse? Nope.

To be fair, I did take some good steps forward. I'm getting better on my eating habits, I actually worked out three times this week. (Knee does limit the amount of cardio activity), I knocked out a good majority of my goals.....but, I also know that I can always do better.

Yup. That's about it for this week.

Until next time,

Kaity

Lovely screen shot, ain't it?

( Captioned ; 6:24 )

It Comes Down to a Choice

So, as all of my readers saw, last week was a very rough one and it very much bled into this week as well. But, as the end drew near, I felt like I could breathe again. Having that one day off to not worry, to go and explore the Lawn on the D, and enjoy time with many people at the House did more for me than I can explain.

Sunday is always a weird day. Many see it as the end of one week and simultaneously the start of a new one. New things are always good, because they give us another chance.

Last week, I gave myself excuse after excuse of why things were not completed, why I didn't feel motivated to knock out my lists....I did myself more harm than good. It's very easy to slip into the mindset that it'll just get done tomorrow. That whole procrastination thing again...

This week will be different - I will get myself back on track in mind, body, spirit, and school. I fully believe that is the reason God gives us so many "new" things. New days, weeks, months, years... He understands that we need that reset sometimes. I definitely needed it this week.

Really it just comes down to one question - how much do I want to be successful? Answer: A lot. Then, it becomes a choice. Am I going to stay in and watch Netflix all day or get dressed and go to the gym? Do I really need to buy things for Mac and Cheese at Star or will I go home and eat the veggie meals that I have in the freezer? Do I really need to be on the internet again or is there something else that I could be doing?

Even though these decisions don't always seem like they're a big deal, they will end up impacting life later on. I have to remember that - that getting to my goal of (there's a lot, so use your imagination) I have to start today. I have to eat right today, I have to accomplish the to-do list today, I have to walk the whole way to the gym today, ...

It goes on and on. Will it be easy? Not in a million years. We all know that I have made an art out of procrastination. So, starting today, I am going to try and break that habit. Yes I know there will be road blocks and pot holes, but the important thing is about coming out on the other side of it all.

Until next time, readers,

Kaity

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The Importance of Mental Health

Currently, I'm channeling Squidward Tenticles.

Let me start with a bit of Kaity philosophy. I fully believe, no matter who you are, you have to take a mental health day at least once a week. Sometimes you might be lucky, and you naturally have one with how your job is scheduled. Sometimes, you don't. Now, some people can go a lot longer than others without feeling the need to take a day for themselves every week. (I'm 98% sure that these people would claim to be extroverts.) The other group of us may need more than one day. It's all who you are.

The thing is, it is up to you to make sure that you give yourself what you need, especially if work can become an every day occurrence.  To do your job well, you must mentally be at 100%. (Please note that there are things you can do every day to make sure you're there as well. Like sleeping and eating.)

But sometimes you need more. You need a full day away from whatever the stressful thing is. You have to be a responsible adult and learn to say 'no' every once and a while. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out.

(And here the reader realizes that this is exactly what Kaity has done to herself last week and this week.)

Yeah - I saw the big picture. The glorious fat paycheck heading my way with all these extra shifts. The problem is, by taking away my mental days (because I thought that I could handle it) I'm not functioning at 110 % every time I go into work. Oh I do everything asked of me, but I'm sure I could be doing better. I think I'm currently at an 85% level or so.

Really, this post is just an explanation of all the subway shots in the video this week. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Saturday, I'll have a chance to recoup. I'll get back on top of things and be able to give next week my all.


Until next time,

Kaity

P.S. I don't even have an excuse as to why these things don't appear on Sunday's like I originally planned. These are popping up late because of who I am as I person. I have just embraced it.

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Ready to Go

Alright, the blog might be a day late, but my video was technically uploaded last night. I see that as a win.

Hello, readers. I am doing better. Thank you for the prayers and the good vibes being sent my way. While I think that feeling of homesickness will always sit low in my chest, I am handling it much better. Surprisingly to you and me - I even felt good enough to go out and explore a little. On Thursday. The only day that I did something that was not work.

I am thankful that my three week summer is coming to a close. I enjoyed my real vacation to Texas, but the last two weeks have been a bit dull. I believe that part of it really was because all I have been doing is working at the store. (Please understand I'm not complaining about the hours because I'm broke and I'm thankful for what I can get. :) ) I haven't really done much else because, as I state in my video, I come home and just chill.

That's my goal for this week. Try and force myself to do something after work, not just sit in my room. Class starting this week will help with that. Mind you, it's only one class, but I'm excited to see my cohort again and get started on this final stretch.

I can't believe that tomorrow will mark a year of me living up here in Beantown! It has been a rocking adventure up to this point and I can't wait to see how it ends. Then, on Wednesday, marks my last first day as a student! I can't even put into words the joy of really starting my last year of school. (Does this mark my third senior year? Is the second year of grad school even considered a senior year? Who cares - I'm almost finished!)

The second wind has finally reached my lungs - but I must remember to pace myself. There are still things that need to be completed before I walk the stage in May.

I hope your week is going well. I hope that all my first year (and current teacher) friends were able to rock their first week and are ready to begin anew.

Until next time,

Kaity

(video captioned: 3:46 minutes)

A Case of Homesickness

I'm going to be totally honest with y'all. This has been an extremely rough week.  I think that one of the worst things I did to myself was go home.

Here's why.

I am incredibly homesick. When everyone you know and love is in the southern part of the States (the majority living in Texas), the world feels especially large and lonely. And sometimes Skype doesn't cut it.

I'm really bad at making friends. I can truthfully tell you that I don't even know how I became friends with the people that I am with now. All I know is that there's a 98% chance that they were the ones who probably initiated it. I'm more of the keep-your-head-down-and-do-your-job type.

People terrify me. I live in constant fear that as soon as I try to befriend something, they're judging me or belittling me while I'm not there. (You can blame middle school and high school for that fear.) It's much easier for me to talk through text of some sort. It allows me to edit myself, to make sure I sound happy and say the right things. But in front of people, I choke. This, my friends, is also known as Social Anxiety.

I tried really hard to hide all my fears and sadness by staying as busy as possible through the week, but you can't really do that from feelings. They still find you and force you to face them. It isn't pleasant, but it's something that will happen eventually.

The video this week was just the icing on top of the cake. New computer (now bequeathed with the name of Scarecrow [see a theme coming?] ) doesn't have free editing software, so I've been trying to find a nice, free editor I can use for the future. I thought I found one, but I'm not willing to pay $20 to remove a watermark nor am I willing to spend more hours editing the video again. So, for this week, I'm sorry. I'll find a new system next week.

I'm also sorry to be playing the Doom and Gloom card. I know that there are other things happening in this world, but for me - it's not all sunshine and rainbows right now. And I, personally, would feel badly for lying to you and giving you the assumption that this chapter of life has been nothing but smelling roses the whole time.

Please understand I'm not posting this for advice or pity, I just wanted to be upfront about everything.

Hopefully this week will have more fun things in store.

Until next time,

Kaity

(film is captioned and 8:35)

A Quick Trip Down South

Kaity, you said you'd post on Sudays. It's Tuesday. What even?

Well, life has been busy. Up until yesterday, my family has really gone nonstop this week. More than anything, we've been in a car. This means that I haven't been able to really edit or do much other than read and/or sleep.

But what about your laptop? Why not work on the road?

Munchkin is in the process of being replaced. He also doesn't work well enough for me to edit a project as big as I'm doing now.

But all that is the past - everything is posted now!

I really have enjoyed a week being home. Mind y'all, it's been a bit busy with all the traveling and such, but it has been quite pleasant. Honestly, I think coming home has made the thought of going back to Boston for four more months tough. I miss Texas. I miss being close to family and friends, how amazingly cheap everything is, the weather, my car (surprisingly enough), and real donut shops.

Please understand, I love Boston, too! I just don't see myself living there the rest of my life.

The trip to North Padre was almost like a blast to the past - they haven't changed a bit. It was fun being able to walk around with the family and remember all these things we did on previous vacations. (We know what we like and, if we like it, we tend to frequent those areas.) We did enjoy a new adventure this time around: paddle boarding.

Remember as a kid, standing up in the toy wagon you owned and using a giant stick to move yourself around the yard, pretending you were a giant boat? Basically, it's that, but on the ocean. It's was an entertaining experience - and quite the workout!

I would just like to mention why I included the Whataburger in the video. For those who don't know, Whataburger was started up in Corpus Christi. The one that we visited what the "first" Whataburger in that area. (It actually started as a shack.) It is tradition to go and eat there if we are in the area. (Random fact: it's also two stories.)

Immediately following the trip began the Great Migration of the Sheppards. With school starting soon, we are all heading off to different areas of the states to start up the fall semester. I, myself, am now willing to make the journey back, since I've eaten the three of the four basic Texan food groups (BBQ, TexMex, Whataburger, and BlueBell Ice Cream).

I'm going to miss home - but I'll be back in 16 weeks!

Until next week,

Kaity

(Video is 9:35 minutes and captioned)

Let me know if you liked the video or not - I'm totally up for some criticism.