Ready to Go

Alright, the blog might be a day late, but my video was technically uploaded last night. I see that as a win.

Hello, readers. I am doing better. Thank you for the prayers and the good vibes being sent my way. While I think that feeling of homesickness will always sit low in my chest, I am handling it much better. Surprisingly to you and me - I even felt good enough to go out and explore a little. On Thursday. The only day that I did something that was not work.

I am thankful that my three week summer is coming to a close. I enjoyed my real vacation to Texas, but the last two weeks have been a bit dull. I believe that part of it really was because all I have been doing is working at the store. (Please understand I'm not complaining about the hours because I'm broke and I'm thankful for what I can get. :) ) I haven't really done much else because, as I state in my video, I come home and just chill.

That's my goal for this week. Try and force myself to do something after work, not just sit in my room. Class starting this week will help with that. Mind you, it's only one class, but I'm excited to see my cohort again and get started on this final stretch.

I can't believe that tomorrow will mark a year of me living up here in Beantown! It has been a rocking adventure up to this point and I can't wait to see how it ends. Then, on Wednesday, marks my last first day as a student! I can't even put into words the joy of really starting my last year of school. (Does this mark my third senior year? Is the second year of grad school even considered a senior year? Who cares - I'm almost finished!)

The second wind has finally reached my lungs - but I must remember to pace myself. There are still things that need to be completed before I walk the stage in May.

I hope your week is going well. I hope that all my first year (and current teacher) friends were able to rock their first week and are ready to begin anew.

Until next time,

Kaity

(video captioned: 3:46 minutes)

A Case of Homesickness

I'm going to be totally honest with y'all. This has been an extremely rough week.  I think that one of the worst things I did to myself was go home.

Here's why.

I am incredibly homesick. When everyone you know and love is in the southern part of the States (the majority living in Texas), the world feels especially large and lonely. And sometimes Skype doesn't cut it.

I'm really bad at making friends. I can truthfully tell you that I don't even know how I became friends with the people that I am with now. All I know is that there's a 98% chance that they were the ones who probably initiated it. I'm more of the keep-your-head-down-and-do-your-job type.

People terrify me. I live in constant fear that as soon as I try to befriend something, they're judging me or belittling me while I'm not there. (You can blame middle school and high school for that fear.) It's much easier for me to talk through text of some sort. It allows me to edit myself, to make sure I sound happy and say the right things. But in front of people, I choke. This, my friends, is also known as Social Anxiety.

I tried really hard to hide all my fears and sadness by staying as busy as possible through the week, but you can't really do that from feelings. They still find you and force you to face them. It isn't pleasant, but it's something that will happen eventually.

The video this week was just the icing on top of the cake. New computer (now bequeathed with the name of Scarecrow [see a theme coming?] ) doesn't have free editing software, so I've been trying to find a nice, free editor I can use for the future. I thought I found one, but I'm not willing to pay $20 to remove a watermark nor am I willing to spend more hours editing the video again. So, for this week, I'm sorry. I'll find a new system next week.

I'm also sorry to be playing the Doom and Gloom card. I know that there are other things happening in this world, but for me - it's not all sunshine and rainbows right now. And I, personally, would feel badly for lying to you and giving you the assumption that this chapter of life has been nothing but smelling roses the whole time.

Please understand I'm not posting this for advice or pity, I just wanted to be upfront about everything.

Hopefully this week will have more fun things in store.

Until next time,

Kaity

(film is captioned and 8:35)

A Quick Trip Down South

Kaity, you said you'd post on Sudays. It's Tuesday. What even?

Well, life has been busy. Up until yesterday, my family has really gone nonstop this week. More than anything, we've been in a car. This means that I haven't been able to really edit or do much other than read and/or sleep.

But what about your laptop? Why not work on the road?

Munchkin is in the process of being replaced. He also doesn't work well enough for me to edit a project as big as I'm doing now.

But all that is the past - everything is posted now!

I really have enjoyed a week being home. Mind y'all, it's been a bit busy with all the traveling and such, but it has been quite pleasant. Honestly, I think coming home has made the thought of going back to Boston for four more months tough. I miss Texas. I miss being close to family and friends, how amazingly cheap everything is, the weather, my car (surprisingly enough), and real donut shops.

Please understand, I love Boston, too! I just don't see myself living there the rest of my life.

The trip to North Padre was almost like a blast to the past - they haven't changed a bit. It was fun being able to walk around with the family and remember all these things we did on previous vacations. (We know what we like and, if we like it, we tend to frequent those areas.) We did enjoy a new adventure this time around: paddle boarding.

Remember as a kid, standing up in the toy wagon you owned and using a giant stick to move yourself around the yard, pretending you were a giant boat? Basically, it's that, but on the ocean. It's was an entertaining experience - and quite the workout!

I would just like to mention why I included the Whataburger in the video. For those who don't know, Whataburger was started up in Corpus Christi. The one that we visited what the "first" Whataburger in that area. (It actually started as a shack.) It is tradition to go and eat there if we are in the area. (Random fact: it's also two stories.)

Immediately following the trip began the Great Migration of the Sheppards. With school starting soon, we are all heading off to different areas of the states to start up the fall semester. I, myself, am now willing to make the journey back, since I've eaten the three of the four basic Texan food groups (BBQ, TexMex, Whataburger, and BlueBell Ice Cream).

I'm going to miss home - but I'll be back in 16 weeks!

Until next week,

Kaity

(Video is 9:35 minutes and captioned)

Let me know if you liked the video or not - I'm totally up for some criticism. 

Summer is Here!

YAY! Summer is officially here!

While I recognize for some that summer has been here for quite a few months, my three week version began on Thursday, when I submitted my last paper. Sending in my project also had another significant meaning for me - the closing of my first year of grad school.

It's a pretty awesome feeling knowing that I'm finally so close to the end - and it's also a bit terrifying. For the first time in a good long while, I don't know where I will be in a year (correction - I will be working for a school that has agreed to pay me for teaching).  As a planner - I don't like this at all. However, it is a bit liberating knowing that the world is full of possibilities come May.

That being said, I am not going to let myself worry about anything (except how many books I can inhale) for the next three weeks. I will be taking time to enjoy Boston, my family, and my friends. I don't say this often - but I deserve the break. We (my cohort) have earned this break.

Two random other things that are happening to me that you may or may not care about:

1) I have decided to restart my YouTube channel. I talk about the reasons in the video, but if you would prefer not to watch, I really just wanted another way to show you my week. I realized that writing about my goings on limited y'all to a particular view of Boston based on what I could remember. So I want to change it up. They will coincide with the blog posts, but maybe not follow them to the tee. I hope that you do enjoy them!

*I am also working on making sure all my videos are captioned.

2) Munchkin (my Monster Toshiba Laptop) has decided that it's time. After six years of service, it is struggling like no other. There has been a scheduled emergency hard ware surgery by the great Dr. Dad coming this week. Crossed fingers, if you don't mind. I need my baby to last me at least another year.

Y'all have an amazing week!

Until next time,

Kaity

(Attractive Pic - don't I know it!)

The Art of Procrastination

Let's be totally honest, at some point in your life, you have been a procrastinator. Now, some of you that are reading this have also managed to have the strength and will power to defeat this lethargic beast and knocking out goal after goal every day. Some of you, like me, have managed to master this time gobbler into an art form.

Exhibit A: This blog post. 

Many of you, or at least those that I tend to keep in (at least) weekly contact with know that I am beginning my last week of summer II. I also have a research proposal due by next Monday (but in all honesty, by my last class). I could be working on that monstrosity right now, or... I could be writing my blog post for this week.

Exhibit B: The To-Do List.

Anyone, and I do mean anyone, who knows me knows that my brain runs at about a mile a minute and half the time it'll change course in about 3.5 seconds flat. I really do depend on to-do lists to keep my focused on the current tasks at hand. But, I also add things mundane things I have to do anyway (such as work or class or laundry) just so that I can cross things off and feel accomplished. Then, when I start to "feel tired" or "want a break", clearly I can justify it because things have, in fact, been crossed off the to-do list.

Exhibit C: High Grades

Another sign that I have absolutely mastered this unnecessary skill is that my grades have not suffered. My entire transcript is As (except for one B, but I still believe that's not my fault) and therefore, I feel justified by the amount of time that I spend on things. In other words, it hasn't kicked me in the butt yet, so why fix something that isn't broken?

Exhibit D: Errands.

Guys, this one is the worst because it falls into two categories. First off, errands do make it onto my to-do list. In all honesty, half the time I really do need to mark it down or I will never make it to the (insert any company name here) before the store front actually closes. However, errands take up a lot of time - sometimes a few hours. Then, after a long day out and walking around, who wants to do that petty project anyway?

Exhibit E: Interacting with Other Humans.

I feel that some of you are reading this paragraph and snickering at me because you know the truth - I am an introverted hermit. Other than a run, I don't leave my room. So, when I do interact with humans (let's be honest, it's mainly Charles) I feel the need to give them my full attention. That project can wait, because I'm in the mood to socialize. It's a rare feeling that I feel compelled to take part in a group activity (and we are talking about things other than dates) and I fear that if I stifle that feeling, I truly will become a hermit at the ripe age of 23.

All this is to say, I clearly need help. Procrastination, whether it is a few hours long or has become an art form, is a dangerous attitude to possess. I'm pretty sure that it also doesn't look good on resumes. 

Prayers of accomplishment would be awesome.

Until next time,

Kaity 

A Letter to My High School Self

Dear High School Kaity,

I know that life is pretty tough. You got a lot going on and there's a lot of dark days. Just know that even when the skies above are overcast, the sun is still shining somewhere.

I've compiled a list of ten things that I think you might want to know. Now, I fully believe we wouldn't be me today without the bumps and missed turns taken in the past, but there are a few things that you should probably know to make the journey easier.

1. Love yourself. Every inch. Inside and Out.

2. Life gets better. Those people don't matter and, in all honesty, won't remember how they made you feel. Remove them from Facebook and get on with your life. 

3. You are allowed to say no. If people don't accept this response when you say it, let 'em go. You should only have to say it once. 

4. Take life's opportunities as they come. They are there to help mold you into a better person.

5. Learn how to save money. If you knew where I was - you would be kicking yourself. Put back anywhere from $25 - 50 per month. Or more, yo. Trust me - it'll be worth it.

6. People will break your heart; it is one of the most brutal parts of life. Do not waste time trying to win them back because they aren't worth it. They have made a decision and, however painful it is, you must let them go. Have a day to grieve. Eat as much chocolate as you want, watch sappy movies, scream, cuss, go for a walk. Then, the next day, pull yourself together, call a friend, and get out of the house. It's painful but extremely necessary.

7. Don't compare your life to others. As a great future friend of yours said to me, we all walk different paths of life and there's no problem with that. What you are doing is necessary for your own happiness. Who cares if it is not the same as someone else?

8. There is a difference between being content and being happy. Don't allow yourself to settle.

9. You are loved. 

10. Don't quit because you're not great at something instantly. Every quote you ever see about accomplishing things talks about time. When your motivation dies, that's the time to really push yourself. Practice whatever you're doing once a day until you get to where you want.

Remember, rough patches are nothing more than sandpaper that helps smooth us into better human beings. You can do this. You will make it through.

See you soon,

Kaity

Group Projects and Other Things

Group projects are supposed to teach you many things; how to collaborate, how to share ideas, how to distribute workload, responsibility, and help you bond with people you may or may not know.

The only thing that I typically take away from them is trust no one.

In all honesty, the few times that I have had large group projects they have been with my cohort and went fairly well. The benefit of going through basically every class together teaches you how to do all the things listed above, but in a less stressed out scenario. Basically, that means that if we could collaborate as a class, we would do it. It's like getting to pick your own group. You know everyone well enough to know what to expect.

However, grouping up with a lot of people you don't know brings back old high school memories of "if I don't do it, then no one will". For Pete's sake, we are in grad school! You would think that some of these middle school mentalities would have finally worked their way out of people's system. Turns out that they don't - and it can lead to a lot of chaos. (Like four people trying to yell over each other at the meeting while you are trying to take minutes of what's happening. It's very aggravating and stirs up anger from no where. Typically, in my case,  it leads to the Scrooge musical playing over and over in your head.)

It is ridiculous to me how full grown adults can quickly relapse into preteen drama.

In other news, for people who think I don't do anything other than school and work - you're mainly right. But...

(July 4, 2015 - Charles River)

(July 7, 2015 - Fenway Stadium Red Sox v Mariners )

And today I'm headed to the beach for a well earned break.

Until next time,

Kaity