The End of My Journey

It's time to say so long to Wonderland.

I cannot believe that I am already here, at the end of a two year journey. This was a relatively short chapter of life, but one chalk full of memories.

To be completely honest, I was a little against flying up to Boston again and walking the stage. Not because I wasn't excited to receive my degree, but I wasn't sure if it would be worth the money of travel, gown, hotel, yadda, yadda, yadda. I was wrong. This last week was a wonderful way for me to receive the closure that I didn't even know I needed.

My family ended up staying in the same hotel that I stayed in when I first flew up for an interview / school tour back in January 2014.  I was able to go on two runs around the Charles River, my old stomping ground. I was able to say good-bye to BU, The Container Store, and a few other places that just made me feel so at home there.

This last couple of years hasn't just been me discovering a new land, but me also really starting to fully understand who I am. One of the reasons for me moving so far from home was so that I could know that I could stand on my own two feet, without the help of friends and family. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't have graduated without their support! I just mean that I needed to know that I was getting a job based on my sign skills and my skills as a teacher and not by my last name or people I happened to know. I needed to know that I had earned my place to join the teaching world.

Even though this was one of my biggest motivations of moving, I did discover so much more about myself. I really started to understand my own beliefs of religion, right and wrong, what I like to do, and why I shouldn't feel ashamed about what I like to do. I learned to become bold and when I should hold my tongue. (This last one is still a difficult task sometimes.)

Boston was a marvelous experience, and part of me will always miss that city. It honestly feels like home to me. (Yes, I realize that I am a Texan and Texas will always come first. But if something happened and I had to move, I would move to Boston in a heartbeat.) Part of me, probably a lot of me, was remolded there, and that's a good thing. I was able to experience so many more cultures and wonderful people and learn more of the beauty of the world.

Sadly, just like everything in life, all good things must come to an end in some way. It is time to close this chapter of my life, and start a new one. (All of this happened on one day as well, as many of you know, but I'll get to that another time. :) ) This will be my last post on this blog site, a humbling experience. I will be soon starting a new one, however, because one of the things that I have learned about myself over the last few years is that I really enjoy blogging.

Dearest readers, thank you for following me on this Journey Through Wonderland. Thank you for all of your kind words and support - it got me through quite a few rough days. I love you all.

Until next time,

Kaity

The Countdown Has Begun...

I'm done!

Well...I'm almost done. I have two weeks left with my online ASL 6 class ( yes, you did read that right) and then this chapter of my life comes to a close! I can't believe that in just a couple weeks I am wrapping up my Masters degree!

Honestly, I'm equal parts excited and nervous about this new life change. Excited because I've been in some sort of school for the last 17 years of my life, give or take. It's time to shake things up a little - take my first steps into the world as an independent adult!

I bet that after reading that paragraph you can also see why I'm nervous. I've only known how to be in school. Yes, I have held part time jobs (and I will be holding another this summer), but it's not the same thing. Interviewing for what I want the do is not the same as interviewing for ripping tickets at a movie theater. From this point forward I am in the biggest learning curve of my life. I like to think that being 23 years old means that I know most of what I'm doing, but it doesn't. There are many times that I feel just as helpless as I was back in middle school and high school.

That doesn't mean that everything is doom and gloom. I'm excited to take the next steps forward in my life. I feel like I've been waiting forever to be a real, independent, full functioning adult giving back to the community. I'm excited to start to make my mark on the world. This is good. It's a whole lot of change all at once, but I know that it will be good.

Also, in case you're wondering how my last week of practicum went, it was awesome. I've been home for a solid week and I really miss all those kids. Working at Indiana School for the Deaf allowed me to see many things we discussed in the classroom and many things we never bring up as teachers. It allowed me (and challenged me) to see if this is really what I want to do for the foreseeable future. (I mean...I just spent all this money on a Masters degree. We would hope the answer would be "Yes!", right?)

I did receive a lovely gift from those students, aside from the 12 week experience.

You can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to laminate this and hang it in a place that I can see it everyday, because, I'll be honest, sometimes I'm going to need the reminder. Heck, I need the reminder before I go into interviews, too. 

I'm grateful for the full experience practicum has been for me. I have learned so much about my teaching style and who I am as a person as well. As frustrating as it was at times, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

Four weeks! Four weeks and then I walk the stage!

Until next time,

Kaity 

Ahh....Spring Break

It's here! It's finally here!

Oh, I am so happy to finally be on Spring Break. I am finally getting some time to reflect, relax, and catch up on a million and a half personal things that I just haven't gotten around to.

I've heard it said before (or maybe I've read it somewhere...who knows) that you really start to realize who a person is based on how they react through the hard parts of life, and, guys, I'm not impressed with who I was going through a lot of those things. Luckily, every day I can make the conscious decision to change that.

You see, all good teachers (or anyone doing any type of job) understand how to juggle. You got your JOB ball, PERSONAL ball, and your MENTAL HEALTH ball.(Sometimes you got more than that, but for now let's keep it simple.) Now, when you watch veterans, they all look like this:

You're first thought watching them is, "Heck yes, I can do that. That's not too hard." Then you you attempt it and it comes out more like:

But that's okay! Well, I'm starting to realize that's okay. We aren't all just born good at something. (I have a fourth grader who would argue this, but I digress.) Whatever we are passionate about, whatever we enjoy doing, we had to practice to get good at it. It's okay to start off bad, because then you have no where to go but up.

Unfortunately, you won't always be successful at whatever you're doing, or it just might take you longer to understand the basics of juggling compared to other people. I have to remind myself every day that this is okay. What matters is that I am better than I was yesterday.

It's weird to think that I'm starting wrap up my experience here. It feels like I just started a couple weeks ago. I am thankful for the opportunity of working here; thankful for the chance to practice my juggling.

I know that I will get better as time goes on.

Until next time,

Kaity

Pushing Through One More Week

One thing I have learned in my life is that for every up, there is a down. Goodness gracious, y'all, this week was definitely a very low down.

To keep professionalism, I will not be diving into a lot of details. Let's just leave it at I felt that I received a lot of pertinent information too late and that it is frustrating that, as an intern, I must keep my mouth shut even though I feel like I should speak up. Of course, this started in the middle of last week, which set off an anxiety attack and led to a pretty rough weekend.
Basically, it was

There was a lot of self-evaluating that happened and a lot of realization that I'm a fairly negative person. Honestly, I don't mean to be. I believe it's not so much negativity as it is a realist, but I can very much see how people disagree with me on the matter. And it's tough being in that mindset. I don't always mean to have such a dark outlook, but I find it incredibly easy to slip into. The only problem is that once I'm there, getting out is like trying to pull myself out of a mud pit - not easy. It's much easier to sit there and stew than to climb out and keep running forward. (Yes, I did just make a simile to life using the Warrior Dash. I miss running.)

But God is good and allows us to have new beginnings multiple times in our lives. We get new years, new months, new weeks, and even new days. (There are many times that I am thankful a day will last only 24 hours.) Luckily for me, I can leave the old week behind and try to stay positive and happy through this next week. I'm not saying it'll be easy to do, but I will be trying my darnedest.

I mean, the week has started off well. All my students were calm and worked hard during their activities today. I'm suspicious, but I'm never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

It's also my last full week teaching before I start transitioning out. It's crazy that I'm basically done here. It feels like I just started a week ago. I'm still learning so much every day; it feels like I'll never be fully prepared for my first year of teaching.

I just gotta push till April. I can make it.

Until next week,

Kaity

P.S. You can never use too many gifs. Hope y'all enjoyed!

Fighting the Ick with Positivity and Dayquil

Strangely enough - I was ecstatic to make lesson plans this weekend.

This isn't something that you will see me write often, but it is really how I felt. State testing is basically done (kids have the science one on Tuesday), but now I can go back to planning. I feel that I am back in control of what will happen in the classroom. No more test prep, no more odd test-strategies-but-not-telling-students-that activities. Just good, old match the standards teaching. (Part of this excitement may also be because we are doing a Fantasy writing and reading unit this month and that is my favorite genre!)

Now, I know come tomorrow those students won't be too thrilled with me. We're going from no homework and activities every afternoon to a structured schedule where they are expected to actually work and get things done. It'll be a bit of a fight, but I'm sure they'll begrudgingly accept the fate that is before them. Honestly, I really do try to make it fun, but I know this week will need an extra special helping of positive energy.

It is crazy to think of my journey in Indiana as halfway over and that I am finally coming to the end of my career as a student. I feel that the weeks have flown by faster and faster. I mean, heck, it's March! There was a point in January that I thought I wouldn't even make it this far! I know that I have my Heavenly Father to thank for the strength and also all my wonderful family and friends that keep pushing me to do my best. 

Unfortuatly, while my attitude and spirits are up, my body is a bit down. I have caught a case of the Ick (AKA Spring Sinus Infection) and it's hard to stay positive when the only thing you can think about is going home and crawling into bed. (Don't worry, I plan on making it an early night.) I am fighting it with gallons of Powerade and Dayquil / Nyquil - but I know it'll be at least a solid week before I'm ready to run around the playground again. (Which I did do last week. Let me tell you - 4th graders are fast!)

I hope that y'all are doing well and that the Ick doesn't hit you and yours!

Until next time,

Kaity

P.S. Anyone know some Deaf Ed jobs up for grabs?

Fun Story Time

Yay for surprise post!

Some quick background information:

So, this week is a bit of a double whammy for teachers and students alike. First off, it's part one of the Indiana State Test, the ISTEP. You can imagine how excited we all are. On top of this, we are celebrating Read Across America all week. (Extra background info: Read Across America is celebrated on Dr. Seuss's birthday which is today!) So, as you can imagine, we have been doing all sorts of fun things to keep the spirits up this week. Monday was a shirt from somewhere you've visited (Oh! The Places You'll Go), Tuesday was crazy sock day (Fox In Socks [TMI Moment: This book is horrible to translate into another language. Just. Horrible.]), Wednesday is crazy hat day (Cat in the Hat) and Thursday is P.J. day (The Sleep Book). 

So, today, being Wednesday, I brought in a silly hat. Well, actually, I made a silly hat out of Dollar Tree things. Basically, it's a $1 St. Patrick's Day hat that I cut holes in and put in a $1 Rabbit Ears headband and everyone loved it. In fact they loved it so much, that it was constantly stolen and passed from child to child. 

The kids also figured out that the ears could support another hat, if you put it on just right. Each time that I would sit or bend down to walk someone through their work, I would immediately feel pressure on my head as one of the students would run up behind me and shove a hat on the ears and take off again.

Eventually, we get to the end of the day and, bless those poor students, we were having them write their hands off to be ready for the essay part of the test tomorrow. 

Now, in a fourth grade class, I am considered tall. It's pretty awesome. When I get down on my knees, I'm just slightly shorter than the students. Today, my mentor teacher and I were having one on one sessions with the students to review previous essays they have written. As expected, when I knelt down to work with a student, another hat was placed on my head. Then this little darlin' (on the left) immediately ran to grab another hat and then the game began. Soon, there were five students seeing how many hats they could put on my hat. This was the result. 

Sometimes 4th graders can be a lot of fun.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Happy Texas Independence Day!

Until next time,

Kaity 

The Half Time Show

     I've just completed my double halfway point! Not only did completing last week mean that I have six weeks before I return to Texas, but I'm halfway through my full takeover of the class. Now, a perfect halftime show would be Spring Break. Unfortunately, instead I get a week of state testing. Well, not as much me as the students. We're all about at the same ecstatic thrill level, I'm sure. 

     That being said, this upcoming week is going to be weird and crazy for everyone involved. It'll be a good learning experience for me to understand the crazy role of testing from another standpoint. I feel like I've been experiencing that a lot - seeing the school day from a whole new perspective. I remember many times falling asleep in classes or counting down the minutes until I was free from the building. Now, there never seems enough time to get things done. I end a class feeling like I rush through everything I teach and never get a chance to go as in depth as I would like.

     Honestly, I'm not sure what else to tell, y'all. Right now, teaching is teaching. There are good days and bad days. I feel like I'm learning every day from both the students and the other teachers I interact with. I'm learning that I'm not the best with balancing life and teaching. I tend to invest myself wholeheartedly into whatever I do, so I tend to have problems giving everything 100%. If anyone knows a trick for this, I would be more than interested in hearing it. Or how to maximize your weekend. There just aren't enough hours in a day right now. 

That's really the best way I can describe the last two weeks. Also, it's starting to get warmer. That does make things more pleasant.

Until next time,

Kaity


P.S. ----> If you like books, then you should check out my BookTube channel! I make videos every Thursday!

The Final Boss Battle

So....I think that I have figured out an analogy for last semesters.

If you have ever played video games, I want you to imagine facing the Boss. Now, do you know what typically happens the closer you get to defeating the giant? It becomes 12 times as hard. They move faster, the send more attacks, and you're panting and yelling and screaming by the end of it. That is what my last semester feels like. The very end of a Boss fight.

And, y'all, I'm already tired. While I have experienced observing once or twice a week, taking on the role of a teacher when you aren't used to working full days (I blame the comfort of half days with college classes and never having to work Fridays) is a huge mental and physical switch. It probably doesn't help that I spend all day in my second language, and I'm not use to doing that, either.

The benefit of student teaching, however, is I get to make mistakes and I can fix them. I am having to relearn balance and how to manage my time. That's another interesting I've come to pick up. Time.

Time is different as a teacher. Classes don't always feel 50 minutes long, they feel shorter. I consistently remember falling asleep in classes and begging the clock to move faster during certain periods, but it's totally different from this side of things. Now, I don't have enough time. There's so much that needs to happen and so much they need to learn and BOOM! the day is over or POOF! the week is gone. I can't believe I've been here for four weeks. It's felt like two.

This week is a special short week because we had Monday as a holiday. So, four days of teaching - which should make things easier, right? I feel like I've worked out a lot of kinks in my own systems, but I guess only time will tell.

Quickly, I would also like to thank everyone for the lovely thoughts and prayers and encouragement that I can make it. I don't know if y'all know how much that means to me. If y'all don't mind praying extra hard for Friday, because my teacher is flying in to observe and, if anything, I need the kids to be normal just for that day this week. Just that day.

I don't know how much of this post is just spewing out words to a choir of people who've already been there and done that, but thank you for taking the time to read this anyway. It motivates me to keep typing.

Until next time,

Kaity

Videos for the week:

(If you're not into Harry Potter, don't worry about the last one. And, as always, videos are captioned.)

Nomingly Nomful (Charles Named My Post)

Hello, again! Week two has come to a close and week three is just starting up. I feel better prepared this week than I was was last week.

Last week, my first week of teaching,I managed to break even. Two good days, two bad days, and then a party, which meant that lucky me got an extra day of planning. It was rough, and I found myself easily being discouraged that things weren't going just right on, basically, my first try.

But that's why we have student teaching, right? That's why people sign up to do internships. It's an opportunity to practice before we are faced with the real deal and mistakes could cause problems. (I mean, I'm working with real children, but I have someone who can help me fix my mistakes versus me running around in circles shouting, "What do I do? What do I do?")  I get an opportunity to learn how to read students and get a pulse of the class. I get the opportunity to figure out my unique teaching style...well, to a point.

Fourth grade is a lot of fun. We're still at the age that the class is shorter than I am, so there is no confusion of who is the teacher, I still know the answer to about 90% of the questions that the students as me, and they're just old enough that you can be a little bit sarcastic with them.  Also, I can still be creative with my lesson plans. It's still alright to include lots of pictures and colors into homework and activities.

This week I continue with my math lessons and I take over the science class. During the month of February, the reading and writing sections become nothing but test prep. So, in other words, I get the fun classes. I really hope that my lessons are as fun as I think they are. ( Please send prayers toward the students and teachers here in Indiana this month. No one really enjoys the idea of test prep.)

So, here's to a fairly smooth week three. Best wishes on your week, dear readers!

Until next time,

Kaity

Videos of the Week! (And, of course, they are captioned!)

One Week Down

Week one down - twelve more to go.

Well...one of those is spring break, so I guess really just eleven.

Either way - this week starts a scary new trial for me, I am taking over the fourth grade math class. And we're starting with fractions! (For all of you people rolling your eyes, I'll have you know that I love fractions. Over these last two years, I have been up to my eyeballs with creating fraction lesson plans, so this really is my happy place.) The students seemed really excited about fractions today and none of them struggled with the lesson that I taught. Today and tomorrow are review lessons, but they didn't struggle so I'm calling it a win.

What I'm really nervous for is Wednesday when we start a new concept in the fraction world - equivalent fractions. The joy of combining multiplication, division, and fractions. With that section, there are no promises that the students will like as much.

However, I am trying my best to keep a positive attitude. It's the only way that I'll survive all the changes and challenges I'll be faced with till April. I just need to keep in mind that everything, and I do mean everything, that I experience will benefit me some way in the future. 

One of the first life lessons I am being reminded of tonight is flexibility. Every weekend, I am required to turn in my week's worth of lessons, as would be expected of me at a real job. But I have also learned that lesson plans are not made of stone (thank God.) and can be amended every night if need be. (This week I might be experiencing a lot of that.)

Thank y'all so much for the prayers and good wishes this morning to help me get through my lesson in one piece. For tomorrow, I have to remember to teach and to breathe. 

Until next time,

Kaity

(Road Trip to Indiana. Captioned)

(Book Review over Fangirl. Captioned)

Deja Vu

      Here's a fun fact. Two years ago I was exploring Boston and trying to figure out where I would start my grad school adventure. I was unsure and a bit apprehensive at the idea of moving somewhere cold, but I was trying to keep an open mind.

Now here I am, finishing up my last chapter of grad school in Indiana - another very cold state. (We have wind chill warnings until noon tomorrow of -30F. So. Excited.)

     I can't believe that in two days I will be meeting the fourth grade class I will be hanging out with for the next 12 weeks! Currently my stomach is twisted into knots and, honestly, I am very unsure if it is from nerves or excitement. Probably both.

    There's a lot of deja vu happening in this hotel room tonight. The trip with one parent to a new state. Gathering and securing supplies the day before I move it. The calm that surrounds me before said parent separates from me and flies home. (No, that panic will set in tomorrow, I'm sure.)

    I think what has me on edge right now is that I am once again starting fresh somewhere. I don't know anyone and I'm not fully sure what to expect. I know the basics of what I should do, but it will be a bit learning curve once I'm actually in the classroom.

    There is one small favor that I ask you, and that is for prayers and good thoughts sent my way. Prayers to easy my nerves, know when to keep my mouth shut, and when to be brave enough to put myself out there. Pray for the first week to go quick, for me to take criticism well, and for me to not embarrass myself or my school during the time that I am there. I'll be honest, I'm pretty bad at first impressions, especially when my anxiety is through the roof.  For all of these, I thank you in advance!

I'll let you know how it goes next week.

Until then,

Kaity



PS: Also, if you would like to check out my videos for the week, they are posted below. Barney's Big Adventure is less than a minute and the Chocolate Book Tag is captioned.

New Year, New Opportunities

Hello everyone!

Long time no post and for that I am sorry. Holidays in the Sheppard home are always a bit hectic. After these festive enjoyments, I tend to always find myself greatly behind in everything I would like or should do and now I have to play the catch up game.

Happy 2016! The good wishes come a bit late, but I do hope that y'all's New Year has started off well and that you are keeping up with your recent resolutions.

I love the new year! I love the chance to restart and look at my future and make a short (but manageable) timeline. A year tends to be one of those things that seems quite long and incredibly short at the same time, but no matter how it might feel, I very much want to use my time wisely.

Last year around this time I went over all my previous resolutions with you and then set new ones. This year, I won't be doing that. Oh, I have created new resolutions (please see video ), but we are going to leave 2015 and all the crazy that went with it in the past where it belongs. In other words, I didn't really finish any of my resolutions. Personally, I felt that the ones that I set for myself were a bit ambitions for the state of grad school I was in, but, hey, you live and you learn.

This year I have set ten new goals that I think are more manageable with all the change in my life that is about to happen. Honestly, there's three big changes coming.

#1 I'm going to Indiana! For my last semester I will be teaching at the Indiana School for the Deaf for my last semester of my Masters. Our school does this cool thing where they will send you to other states to see other programs. I jumped on this opportunity and landed in the Midwest. The school will be covering my housing (because they are wonderful, marvelous human beings) and the rest is me. I will not be working at this time, so I will be learning the meaning of the word frugal extremely well.

#2 My third graduation! Boy howdy, I don't know if anyone understands my excitement about this May. Guys - I'll be graduating with my Masters! After May, I will no longer be classified a student at any university or school! (No, a PhD is not in the future.) I will be finally switching roles in the classroom and I could not be more excited! It's also going to be an absolutely crazy weekend, but I'll explain closer to time.

#3 I will be taking on my first Big Girl job! I have no idea where just quite yet, but I know that it will happen! This year, I will be taking the grand step from kind of independent, working adult to full fledged independent adult. It is a safe bet to say that I'm absolutely terrified, but that's why God is in control of everything and I am not.

Until next time,

Kaity

So part of my resolutions was creating a new YouTube Channel! I have joined into the BookTube world as AGirlAndHerBooks. You can check out my first video below! Let me know what you think! (All videos are captioned)

My Own Personal Flurry of Life

Oh, boy. I feel like I'm stretching out my fingers over this keyboard for a first in a long time. The reality is I got very behind in my personal goals recently. Honestly, the holidays always stress me out, and then you throw finals week and trying to move home and problems with school all within a couple weeks and I come very close to absolutely and totally loosing my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I love family time and I love the food that comes within December, but I don't like the feeling of not being able to slow down. I realize that this is a part of adulthood and that, really, once fully on my own it is a privilege to sleep in or just sit and read a book. But during breaks, I hope to take part in these calming activities.

I haven't made a video in weeks. This newest one covers the span of four (and there are no promises that everything is in the correct order) and explains why the vlogs might go on hold for a bit. TRUTH TIME: I only started these vlogs so I could practice for the Thanksgiving Surprise. I think part of my problem right now is my vlogs seem a bit pointless and redundant. I need to find a new goal to strive for so that I feel proud about my content.

Since I haven't posted in a while, I'm sure many of you have some questions about how the semester wrapped up. So...

• All A's
• The research project didn't kill me...but it came close.
• I will be going to Indiana for student teaching.
• I will be in a 4th grade classroom. 
• No, I don't know if I will be teaching all subjects or specific ones.
• I will be leaving on January 16.
• No, I have no idea where I'm teaching after I graduate.
• Yes, I plan on moving home to Texas.

Okay, I think that just about sums it up!

Also - prayers would be appreciated. There's a lot happening right now (that's really not appropriate for posting) that is causing stress during the holiday break and probably will continue through part of the Spring semester. And, yes, I know - Jeremiah 29:11. It still would be nice to know some of these plans right now.

Alright, my friends, I think that's just about it! Be safe while traveling and watch out for snow!

(For all my non-Texan friends: Yesterday, this happened:       )

Until next time,

Kaity

Turkey Surprise!

So, last week I didn't post a blog entry because I was very much on the brink of spilling all the beans about my wonderful surprise.

I don't think you fully understand - I have been lying to my family since May. These last two weeks or so were the hardest yet!

You see - I figured that I have got to try living a bit. I always watch these videos about other people finding ways to surprise their family and I thought, why can't I do that? Living in Boston means that I have missed out on a lot of happenings in Texas and so, after hearing about how Charles did a similar thing a few years ago, I made my own devious plan.

(Side note: Thank y'all who did, in fact, know my plan and kept your mouth shut about it. :D)

All those research gigs and extra shifts were for survival. Plane tickets, especially around the holidays, aren't cheap. Neither is living in Boston, but I had the motivation to make this dream a reality. Yeah, it is kind of silly - but it was worth the trip. I needed that family boost to help me make it through the next few weeks.

Of course, major thanks goes out to Charles, who was my partner in crime through it all. He's been working with me the whole time to figure out logistics, was my driver, and is just an overall wonderful boyfriend.

The next two and a half weeks are going to zoom by, I already know it. I can't believe my Boston chapter is almost complete! Of course I've got to get through finals week first.

Until next time,

Kaity

Turkey Surprise!

(It's doing the weird thing still where I can't post the physical video - follow the link!)

(Video is captioned, but know that the majority of it is music lyrics. 3:50)

Motivation is Half the Battle

So, this week I got a great reminder that nothing will get done if I refuse to do it. You would think that all people have figured this little tidbit of information out, but it turns out I hadn't just yet. For some strange reason, I had this odd belief in my head that eventually all the work I would have to do would just...go away. Turns out it just piles up.

Then, thanks to a motivational speech from my boyfriend, I restarted myself on Friday and I am happy to report that so far everything is going well. I think that this is the most productive weekend / Monday that I have had in a while. Unfortunatly, to keep that going, I'm going to have to constantly push myself.

Four more weeks. Four more weeks. I have a whole lot to get done and four more weeks.

Luckily for me - I'm stuck in Boston over Thanksgiving so that's ample amount of time to get projects done.

Basically what it's come down to is this. Writing a to-do list is not enough for me. I also have to write out how I'm going to use all my waking hours to my advantage. And then also set alarms in my phone so that I don't get distracted by things. 

Eventually (I pray and hope) I will be able to back down and be able to accomplish tasks without having to micromanage myself. But until then, I am going to do what works.

Have a wonderful week!

Until next time,

Kaity

PS : Follow this link to the video. Blogger is being dumb. 

Just A Few Weeks To Go!

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you just want to give yourself a pat on the back and a large bag of chocolate for getting through it? That was this week in a nutshell.

Here's the thing, I like to stay busy. As we saw earlier this semester, I do not do well with free time on my hands. (Idle hands and all that...) So when things started to pick up, I was excited. But, dear friends, there is a balance...and I have not found it just yet.

I have gotten myself into a situation where I am trying to put my all into everything I do, but we (as humans) cannot physically do that. We must pick and choose what to put our limited energies into. Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist and refuse for that to be the case, which is basically why I'm as stressed as I am.

This evening, I took a break by Skyping with Mom about schooling. (Both of us a bit stressed about getting to the end of the semester.) We came to the realization that the end is near. I have four weeks left (without including Thanksgiving) before I'm done.  I have five weeks left in Boston, Massachusetts. Seven weeks left in 2015.

That feels extremely long and short all at the same time. Has it really been over a year? I feel like I've just arrived and at the same time feel like I've been up here my whole life. It's crazy.

Good news! This Sunday I'm feeling a bit more put together. I have the blog post up, my video done. I'm going to be able to fit a run in and knock out things on my homework list. I just need to keep up this momentum of productivity.

Sometimes you need a harsh week to remind you how to balance.

Until next time,

Kaity

(Captioned : 7:50)

Waiting for My Second Wind

Lately, rereading my blog posts have been a bummer - and I apologize about that. I've been letting the little things build up and get to me. Here's the reality of everything - through the metaphor of running.

When you start off a race, you stand at the starting line, adrenaline pumping, eyes wide and heart full of excitement. You feel like you can take on anything - and you can! At least...for the first few miles. And then your side hurts. It's cool, it's cool. Just push through it; no pain no gain.

But then it's another part of your body. And then you can't breathe. And then you can feel how tired you're becoming and you just want to walk because, dang it, it'll get you to the end....just a whole lot slower than planned.

But, being who I am, I'm stubborn and I'm trying to push through. I know that just beyond this next bend (Christmas Break), there's a finish line waiting for me. However, right now it seems that I haven't gotten my second wind yet to get me around that bend. I'm stuck in pain, trying to convince myself that the end really is worth what I'm going through right now.

It might not be a metal to hang around my neck (actually - it's a very expensive piece of paper), but that's not what running the race is about. Yeah, crossing that finish line will be great - but the important part is each step that got me there, pain induced or not. Because without those steps, I would've have never moved from the start line.

Sorry that this post is so late - the week, of course, has been crazy. Last year of grad school is not the same as the last year of undergrad, apparently.

Also, if you're wondering - finally got around to sitting down and analyzing everything from my survey. Data does support my hypothesis!! YAY! Hopefully, near the end of the semester, I can show y'all exactly what I have been working on.

Until next time,

Kaity


P.S. I can't promise a video from last week right now. Honestly, right now I can't promise consistent videos at all - and that sucks. (I'm pretty sure more for me than you. I have fun making them.) But, sometimes, when life gets tough, you have to prioritize, and (because YouTube isn't paying me to make videos) weekly vlogs are at the bottom of the list. Hopefully I can get this one up at some point.

Inconsistent Consistency

Boy, howdy, I've been anything but consistent lately, haven't I?

This week has been a world wind of crazy. I felt that no matter how hard I tried to get ahead, I was always two steps behind the play Part of that was the fact that I was plum lazy and the other part of that was because my body was so confused from switching my work schedule from morning to night and all over the place that I just found my self exhausted when I wasn't sleeping.

However, that is in the past. It is time to move forward and start a new week. The wonderful things about weeks is that every seven days you have a chance for a better week. And every 24 hours you have a chance of making sure that your week goes right.

I am quickly realizing that 24 hours is not near enough time for me to do what I need exactly. In fact, it's at least six hours short of what I need. (Yes, I do mean to use those six extra hours for sleeping). I'm sure there was a point in my past where I realized this also - but it just seems to be a constant theme throughout the first semester of year two.

Wow, there were a whole lot of numbers in that last paragraph.

If you are thinking, wow, this blog post seems kind of rushed this week, you would be right. It is. I'm trying to stay on top of my game and knock out everything I write on my daily to-do lists. (Oh yeah, I got organizing down to an art - I'm just not always great with the actual doing of the things.) Monday's list is quite long because, well, I did not properly manage my time this weekend...or last week.

Oh, well. This week clearly will be better than the last. I mean, heck, it ends with Halloween!

Until next time,

Kaity

Out of the Fog

I'm back!

How much did you miss these posts? Bet you enjoyed them more than the amount of times I've been spamming the interwebs requesting people take my research survey. Speaking of - thank all of you for taking the time to complete it! I got double the amount of people I was hoping for! (Y'all can still take it, if you like. It's open through tomorrow night.)

There. That's it, the last you'll hear of me asking about the survey, I promise.

I've been a bit off my game the last two weeks. I don't fully know how to describe it - but it was kind of like walking through a thick fog. It took me a little while to refind my purpose (which was buried under some rocks in the corner of my mind) and really realize why I'm doing the things I'm doing.

This semester so far has just been really...odd. Being a part time student, one would think that I would all of a sudden have time on my hands, be able to become more involved in things. Turns out that's not how grad school works at all. Apparently, less classes means we should be able to handle more work - because clearly we don't all have jobs to pay for school or anything. Anywho - I complain but really I just need to find a balance.

In happier news, I finally went apple picking! I had a ton of fun with the Bayridge crew as we explored an uphill orchard (you read that right) and picked lots different types. I can't tell you what I actually got because to me, all of them are red. This video should be up soon - so keep an eye out!

Wow, this post is a whole lot of gobbledygook. Forgive me, I'm out of practice.

Until next time,

Kaity

(Getting Back To It)

 (6:45 and captioned) 

(Apple Picking)

(6:00)

Real Talk

Alright, real talk.

I don’t have a video for last week. I mean, I filmed stuff...but I haven’t edited it.  I haven’t done a lot of things that I wanted to do. It took me up to last night to finish a lot of stuff that should’ve easily been done last week.

It’s no big surprise that I have seem to have lost my mojo. I’m sure that it’s easy to tell from the short videos and the very...odd...blog posts that seem to ramble into the abyss.

Honestly, I’m struggling. I’m trying to find a point - something that makes waking up and going to work and continuing school worth it, because right now, knowing that an expensive piece of paper is heading my way isn’t working.

I need to feel like I’m doing something that not only betters myself but gives back to the community. I’ve been trying really hard to get more involved with things and work on aspects of my life that need to be improved...yet it seems all so trivial.

On the other side of this, if I don’t force myself to do these things and sort of trick myself into being busy, I would never leave my bed. I would curl up under the blankets all day and either sleep, watch netflix, read, eat - or a combination of those things.

In all honestly, I think I’m struggling with patience. I’m struggling with the idea of having to constantly do mundane tasks to improve skills and get to where I want to go. I want to have a book written by the time I’m 25. I want to be able to send people home made sketches of characters I have created. I want to work on my filming and get really good at it and create short films in the future. I want to teach kids and find ways to help improve educational programs that have us go back to focusing on students instead of tests.

I want to do a lot of things - but sometimes knowing that I'm not even close to the finish line, knowing that I’m only a few feet from the start, is more motivation to give up than to continue.

I am tired of all the half-finished projects that lay in the wake of my 23 years on earth.

So, it’s Wednesday. It’s halfway through a week that started off fairly bumpy - but I’m working on trying to turn that around. It’s got to start with an attitude adjustment, I think. There’s too much awesome in Wonderland for me to give up now.

Prayers, good vibes, and positivity would all be appreciated.

Until next time,

Kaity