Inconsistent Consistency

Boy, howdy, I've been anything but consistent lately, haven't I?

This week has been a world wind of crazy. I felt that no matter how hard I tried to get ahead, I was always two steps behind the play Part of that was the fact that I was plum lazy and the other part of that was because my body was so confused from switching my work schedule from morning to night and all over the place that I just found my self exhausted when I wasn't sleeping.

However, that is in the past. It is time to move forward and start a new week. The wonderful things about weeks is that every seven days you have a chance for a better week. And every 24 hours you have a chance of making sure that your week goes right.

I am quickly realizing that 24 hours is not near enough time for me to do what I need exactly. In fact, it's at least six hours short of what I need. (Yes, I do mean to use those six extra hours for sleeping). I'm sure there was a point in my past where I realized this also - but it just seems to be a constant theme throughout the first semester of year two.

Wow, there were a whole lot of numbers in that last paragraph.

If you are thinking, wow, this blog post seems kind of rushed this week, you would be right. It is. I'm trying to stay on top of my game and knock out everything I write on my daily to-do lists. (Oh yeah, I got organizing down to an art - I'm just not always great with the actual doing of the things.) Monday's list is quite long because, well, I did not properly manage my time this weekend...or last week.

Oh, well. This week clearly will be better than the last. I mean, heck, it ends with Halloween!

Until next time,

Kaity

Out of the Fog

I'm back!

How much did you miss these posts? Bet you enjoyed them more than the amount of times I've been spamming the interwebs requesting people take my research survey. Speaking of - thank all of you for taking the time to complete it! I got double the amount of people I was hoping for! (Y'all can still take it, if you like. It's open through tomorrow night.)

There. That's it, the last you'll hear of me asking about the survey, I promise.

I've been a bit off my game the last two weeks. I don't fully know how to describe it - but it was kind of like walking through a thick fog. It took me a little while to refind my purpose (which was buried under some rocks in the corner of my mind) and really realize why I'm doing the things I'm doing.

This semester so far has just been really...odd. Being a part time student, one would think that I would all of a sudden have time on my hands, be able to become more involved in things. Turns out that's not how grad school works at all. Apparently, less classes means we should be able to handle more work - because clearly we don't all have jobs to pay for school or anything. Anywho - I complain but really I just need to find a balance.

In happier news, I finally went apple picking! I had a ton of fun with the Bayridge crew as we explored an uphill orchard (you read that right) and picked lots different types. I can't tell you what I actually got because to me, all of them are red. This video should be up soon - so keep an eye out!

Wow, this post is a whole lot of gobbledygook. Forgive me, I'm out of practice.

Until next time,

Kaity

(Getting Back To It)

 (6:45 and captioned) 

(Apple Picking)

(6:00)

Real Talk

Alright, real talk.

I don’t have a video for last week. I mean, I filmed stuff...but I haven’t edited it.  I haven’t done a lot of things that I wanted to do. It took me up to last night to finish a lot of stuff that should’ve easily been done last week.

It’s no big surprise that I have seem to have lost my mojo. I’m sure that it’s easy to tell from the short videos and the very...odd...blog posts that seem to ramble into the abyss.

Honestly, I’m struggling. I’m trying to find a point - something that makes waking up and going to work and continuing school worth it, because right now, knowing that an expensive piece of paper is heading my way isn’t working.

I need to feel like I’m doing something that not only betters myself but gives back to the community. I’ve been trying really hard to get more involved with things and work on aspects of my life that need to be improved...yet it seems all so trivial.

On the other side of this, if I don’t force myself to do these things and sort of trick myself into being busy, I would never leave my bed. I would curl up under the blankets all day and either sleep, watch netflix, read, eat - or a combination of those things.

In all honestly, I think I’m struggling with patience. I’m struggling with the idea of having to constantly do mundane tasks to improve skills and get to where I want to go. I want to have a book written by the time I’m 25. I want to be able to send people home made sketches of characters I have created. I want to work on my filming and get really good at it and create short films in the future. I want to teach kids and find ways to help improve educational programs that have us go back to focusing on students instead of tests.

I want to do a lot of things - but sometimes knowing that I'm not even close to the finish line, knowing that I’m only a few feet from the start, is more motivation to give up than to continue.

I am tired of all the half-finished projects that lay in the wake of my 23 years on earth.

So, it’s Wednesday. It’s halfway through a week that started off fairly bumpy - but I’m working on trying to turn that around. It’s got to start with an attitude adjustment, I think. There’s too much awesome in Wonderland for me to give up now.

Prayers, good vibes, and positivity would all be appreciated.

Until next time,

Kaity